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Friday, April 5, 2013

「1901」你今天幸福吗?

She put him out like the burning end of a midnight cigarette.
She broke his heart. He spent his whole life trying to forget.
We watched him drink his pain away, a little at a time,
But he never could get drunk enough you get her off his mind,
Until the night
He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger.
And finally drank away her memory.
Life is short, but this time it was bigger,
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees.
We found him with his face down in the pillow,
With a note that said: "I'll love her till I die."
And when we buried him beneath the willow,
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby.
The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself.
For years and years, she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath.
She finally drank her pain away, a little at a time,
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind,
Until the night.
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger.
And finally drank away his memory.
Life is short, but this time it was bigger,
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees.
We found her with her face downin the pillow,
Clinging to his picture for dear life.
We laid her next to him beneath for the willow,
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la.

N通未接来电,N条未读信息。

拿出包底的手机,屏幕指示灯还在不停的闪烁着,

打开,显示"电量不足!"

呆呆地看着连续N通未接的同一人来电,连续N条未读的同样信息,我的心许久不能平复。

从不躲闪回避的相信自己某时开始,变得格外的小心,渐渐变得有点执着对安全感纠结。变得一离开熟悉的地方,夜幕下的房间总是需要它的明亮才能心静的睡下。

我用N的时间纠结的伤害了自己,最后,我还是懦弱的选择逃离了熟悉的城市;幻想用七天的平静的陌生小镇生活去冲淡忘却那一切,当渐渐发现某种我需忘却的东西开始心底滋生,我决断的选择离开;用一天的时间,登上我从未有过高度的山峰。未眠,静静地我看到了此生曾未见过的美丽,云海中的日出需未能抵挡脚下岩石的冰冷,可当见到阳光渐渐透过云海的那一幕时,我心悸的产生一丝未明的感动与希望。

或许,我也能够期待幸福。

疲倦的下山,我去了一座沿山而依的小县城,错落有致的楼房,靠近城中的地方,被一座略宽的河流断开而去,中间只留下了一座孤单的石拱桥。沿河的休憩之地有着许些的老人们在下棋或垂钓,成群的孩童在玩乐中嬉戏,而那些母亲们便坐在不远处闲聊了各自的许些幸福。不属于这里的我,与这里的恬静略显得突兀。

呈大字倒在床上,无力的虚脱感随之袭来,记得离开时,H曾大声地对我吼着,"你们,不该是这样的。"

不该,还是不想,这一切在已经开始的之后,还有那么重要吗?

每个人的心底都会向上帝祈祷着,奢求着各自心底珍惜的,或许正因为奢求我们意识中才存在着上帝,或许正因为上帝我们的灵魂才有了一丝慰藉。

正在充电的手机,熟悉的铃声传来,我用被子重重的掩埋了自己,灯光已经遗失,剩下的只有黑暗。

"对不起,我已选择遗忘,请放过我。"

 

at Fri. 05 Apr. 2013 15:23:12.